From Around This Time Last Year: Is There Anything More Phallic Than a Banana Holder?

 Maybe the Washington Monument.

I ask because I now have a banana holder. And while my bananas are in great shape, they aren’t turning ripe as fast I would like. I have a whole jar of nutella waiting for them to get yellow. Not that nutella can wait, nutella is a hazelnut chocolate spread that has no capacity to take on verbs, but my point remains.

I’ve been thinking about bananas more lately since listening to this Terry Gross interview with this guy who wrote a book about bananas, fittingly called, “Bananas!” That title is sort of a gimme, but still works because anything else would have been a disappointment. And also, ever since I was in Berlin, in a bath, drinking sparkling water and eating a banana with nutella, I’ve decided that where possible, I want my life to include the pleasure of nutella and bananas.

So my apartment in Denver is more or less set up. I mean, I have a banana stand. No TV, obviously. On one of my first nights in my apartment, before I had a bed, and I was trying to fall asleep in a sleeping bag, I had a brief bout of anxiety about how I would pack up all the pots and pans I had just bought when the time came to move. I mean, I’m not going to die in this apartment—right?—so how will I transport allthese things?

And even as I was buying this banana stand, I was thinking about moving it. Probably the most (or only) appealing thing about living with people from the internet is never having to acquire such stuff. Because stuff—I don’t know, it’s the worst. But also, the best: my bananas have a home.